I faced one of hardest challenges I had ever faced during 2010. After diagnosis of breast cancer, plus having had cancer (acinic cell carcinoma) in my saliva gland 5 years previously, I was completely devastated. Could I face cancer again? After hearing what the doctor told me I was in shock, as was my husband. We didn’t know which way was up. Then along came Gill. Gill Hutson is a Macmillan nurse at the Lister Hospital in Stevenage, Hertfordshire. I hope you don’t ever “need” to meet her, but if you do, you’ll have the absolute privilege. She came to us at our lowest, at our most vulnerable and caught us as we were falling. I love and hate the advert from Macmillan of the patients standing alone who start to collapse to the ground. Before they hit the floor a nurse runs up and catches them. This was Gill for us. This woman has such a beautiful heart. She was a light in the cancerous darkness, just when we needed her. She always had time for me, no matter how big or small the question. I have decided to do something quite drastic, I am going to shave my head, as it was 6 years ago when I lost my hair to chemo. I want to do this to show solidarity with my sisters who have and will share the painful journey that is cancer treatment. I pray for cancer to DO ONE, but until then I will fundraise for the frontline army who are coming alongside us to do battle. Gill, you are the reason that I’m doing this. Your faithfulness to your patients and the love that exudes from your heart is completely amazing. “May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.’ Love you. I’m cancer-free now! Woohoo!! Literally the ONLY downside to this is that I don’t get to see you Gill!
I will be holding a summer lights party in our home and garden on Saturday 25th June, the day after my 16th wedding anniversary no less! Double celebration!! It will be from 7pm and everyone is invited to dress up! I may even get the old ball gown out of its hiding place!! We will have cocktails, music and dancing. House-party style! We may also have the pleasure of welcoming the hairdresser who supported me throughout my chemo treatment, the amazing Tracie from Talents in Hitchin. I’m hoping she’ll be able to come and take my hair away for the second time! But I still need to ask her…!
I’m asking for you to donate whatever you can for this worthy cause. In previous years I have supported cancer research but this, I believe, is as important. They are the ones to walk us through these difficult times. Sadly the need for them is on the rise too. Help me to support them. Many thanks. Hayley X
Well, we’ve had a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year celebration. Now the decorations are back in the box, the in-laws have left for Holland this morning, Djerk is back at work, the kids go back to school tomorrow and I’m raring to go! 2012 is going to be an amazing year. As a family we are heading into the year with a few uncertainties (our rental agreement comes up for renewal for one!) but we are on an incredible journey with Daddy God and so those uncertainties don’t worry us a bit! We also have some great certainties too! You want to know what they are? When I first started this blog I decided to call it Promises Today. Well, our certainties as a family are God’s promises, which are relevant today, tomorrow and for always! Love it! Ready? Here’s just a few of the promises…
1. God will love you forever!
Give thanks to the Lord, because He is good. His faithful love continues forever. Psalms 136:1
2. God will never leave you!
…I will never leave you. I will never desert you. Hebrews 13:5
3. God will comfort you!
The Lord will comfort his people. He will show His tender love to those who are suffering. Isaiah 49:13
4. God will help you!
Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord. He is the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalms 121:1-2
5. God is always faithful!
What the Lord says is right and true. He is faithful in everything He does. Psalms 33:4
6. God will keep you safe!
The Lord is good. When people are in trouble they can go to Him for safety. Nahum 1:7
7. God keeps His promises!
…the Lord your God is God. He is the faithful God. He keeps His covenant for all time to come. Deuteronomy 7:9
WOW! I can count on 2012 containing the following things – God’s love, God’s presence, God’s comfort, God’s help, God’s faithfulness, God’s safety and certainty that he will keep his promises. Awesome!
With regards to my health, I’ve been doing really well. My periods are still not what they should be, but I’ve received great advice from my oncologist Dr Shah (I adore that man!). He said that Tamoxifen is likely just playing around with my cycles and that once I finish the course of Tamoxifen (I have just under 4 years to go) then all will likely return to normal. So he has suggested that any ablation or hormone treatment will not be necessary. I will need to continue to see my gyno, as they will need to keep an eye on the build up of lining. Just in case… I’m ok with that. I have peace now. I’m not worried.
I’m planning on running in the Race for Life in June/July in St. Albans. I weighed myself this morning and I found that I didn’t put too much weight on over Christmas, but my weight it still way too high. So, now begins a new healthier lifestyle! Enough procrastination! I’m going to start swimming again (I really miss it actually), walking more, dancing more (I got Just Dance 3 for Christmas – woohoo!), perhaps running (Djerk would like to see me try anyway) and eating healthier. I’m not going to “diet”. I hate that word. I know my weaknesses, I know my habits. God, I give it to you right now. Help me to fight through my habits and laziness. I am going to be fitter by the summer. I am going to lose some of this excess weight. My last Race for Life was the summer of 2010. I ran 5km in 57 minutes. Not bad for someone who had just finished chemotherapy for breast cancer huh?!
I’m determined to run this year and beat my time. Will you support me?
I’m also very excited about our new community group at Bethany. Djerk and I will be leading a group, which has multiplied from Matt and Robyn’s group. We are starting with around 10 people! Crazy times! Bethany is growing so fast, I love it! We’ve had some great prophecies over Djerk and I, acceleration being one of them. Woohoo! Bring it on!
I’m also currently working hard with Maizymoo Ltd. I will be sorting out my website shortly, exciting stuff. Before that I have a number of clients to arrange websites for. I love being able to offer simple, no nonsense website design and hosting without the usual high price tag. I’m hoping to expand my client base a bit in the coming months.
So, that’s me. I will try and blog a little more often, for those interested (is there anyone out there reading this?!) and let you know how I get on. For now, I hope your 2012 is looking as exciting and hopeful as mine.
Wow, what a week I’ve had. I had some good news and some not so good news. Will start with the good.
I’m freeeeeeeeeeeee! I was discharged from the Lister Hospital on Thursday last week in regards to my first cancer (acinic cell carcinoma in parotid gland). This means that it’s over! I don’t need to worry about check ups or scans anymore. I won’t miss the build up to those appointments, the fear that this will be the moment they find that it’s come back. I will still need to be vigilent about checking my neck for any lumps and bumps, but I’m definitely celebrating the end of that particular journey. Thank you Lord for getting me through!
The not so good news was my apointment with my gyno this evening. My period came on Thursday and was very light so I made an appointment for today to have another scan. Basically there is no change, even after bleeding, there is still a thick lining in there. He also noticed that my ovaries are still very much active and I should actually be in the middle of my cycle, not having just bled. Weird. So, I’m not actually having a normal period at all. He called it intermenstrual bleeding. This means that Tamoxifen is likely mucking about with my cycles. There’s nothing sinister going on, it all looks healthy but it’s just not normal. I now have 2 choices, either I am monitored every few weeks to keep an eye on what happens and see if a pattern develops or I have an ablation procedure to burn it all out and make it all go away. My gyno is going to call my oncologist (Dr Shah, absolutely adore him!) to ask his opinion on the whole thing. He will then call me to discuss the 2 options. I’m also going to call Dr Shah and see what he thinks.
I was so disappointed to hear that things weren’t back to normal. I’ve had some mighty warriors praying for me over the last
few weeks and months. I wanted my healing. I was contending for it. I even dreamed about it. I had a dream that I went to the appointment and was told all was normal. Sigh…
So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. – 2 Corinthians 4:16
My incredible friend Sonya Chitty advised me to take my disappointment to God and say “hey Dad, this sucks.” It’s ok to say things like that to God. He’s Dad. He knows! Her equally incredible hubby Neil Chitty said “He is on the throne and is in control.” I just love that we are surrounded by such amazing people. I have some wonderful friends all over the world, most of them have been praying for me since all this started. Father, thank you for my friends. Thank you also for my family. I will be rounding off the week with a trip to London (I miss working in London…) for a spa afternoon! Then Refresh Your Christmas is on Friday evening. Refresh is the BethanyCC women’s ministry. Can’t wait to serve the girlies on Friday and also get a go in the hot tub!! Wahoo!
So, a week with ups and downs for sure. But this is what I’m standing in. This is what I’m believing in.
So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us — who was raised to life for us! — is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, NOT CANCER (I added that one!), not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: “They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.” None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing — nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable — absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. Romans 8:31
How have you all been? It’s been ages since I last wrote on my blog. 4 months! That’s just terrible… I guess it’s because I started this blog to share my cancer treatment story with friends, relatives and anyone else that it might help. I have had a few medical bits and pieces happen since all the treatment ended in September 2010, some of which are still ongoing, but mostly my life is back to it’s crazy/busy self!
The one medical thing I will mention is my gynaecology stuff. I told you in my previous blog that I went to a gyno in July. Well, Djerk and I took a good 3 months to discuss, pray about and research into Novasure. It’s medical term is endometrial ablation – basically burning out the inside of my womb. This would mean that getting pregnant would be extremely dangerous, but as Djerk and I have our two wonderful boys we thought that this wouldn’t be an issue. So, after lots of deliberation, we decided that Novasure was the way forward, the way to ensure that the risk of cancer was reduced.
A couple of weeks ago I went to see my gyno again and we said “we’re ready, let’s do it”. At this point we weren’t expecting the following words. “I think ablation might be a little too extreme in your case”. Wow. Ok. Hang on… Didn’t this gyno tell us that Novasure was a good idea, as the lining of my womb was very thick!? Now he says that the thickness is actually within “normal parameters”. Djerk and I looked at each other in disbelief. I was on the edge of tears as it had been a hec of a decision to make, to allow someone to burn out my insides!!! Meh. Anyway, after that he said that a time of monitoring was the best course of action. I had another scan that day and he saw that the lining was indeed still thick. The other thing he saw baffled him a bit. I had a black blob on the screen, which means fluid. He then proceeded to ask what contraception we were using! Eeeeeeek! We hastily told him that Djerk had been snipped! (sorry honey for just telling the world that… But I am telling them about my insides…) Sorry peeps, hope this isn’t getting too much for you. I guess my reason for telling my story is so that if something like this ever happens to you, or someone you love, then you can say that you know someone has been there, done that, got the jolly t-shirt. I’d be more than happy to chat with you if you are going through similar stuff.
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, he then said that fluid in the uterus could be various things, one of which is pregnancy! Another was blood – period blood. He asked if I was having a period at the time. No was the answer. This seemed to confuse him a bit and it seemed that he wasn’t quite sure what to say next! I’m “special” is usually what I answer with. Well, the fact is I am special, but not because weird medical things are always occurring in my body, but because I am a princess! Yes, you heard it folks, I’m a daughter of the King. I have been told by so many doctors, specialists and others that I’m a “special case” – rare cancers, unexplained reactions etc – I accepted that and it became my identity. So much so that on the playground this afternoon I said to one of the mums that I didn’t want to go to the docs (I’ve been feeling a bit dizzy, tired and drained recently) because I was afraid of what they would find. Wow! Can’t believe I really said that. Fear?! Fear of cancer?! Fear of death?! Well, right now, publicly on my very own blog I am saying NO to fear. No more!! This verse means so much to me:
There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first. – 1 John 4:18 The Message
So peeps, I chose love. God’s love. Did I ever tell you, I’m a Daddy’s girl! Yup, I was such a Daddy’s girl when I was little. I love my Daddy with all my heart – Alan Cass, you are the best Daddy in the world!! Now, did I ever tell you that I’m also a Daddy’s girl? Confused? Yeah, you might be. Let’s put it differently I’m Abba Father’s girl. My heavenly Daddy. God. Yup, he’s my Dad! Ever seen one of those films where some guy does something truly amazing and from the sidelines there comes a little voice “that’s my Dad!” – that’s me! At the moment I am watching from the back of the car, playing games, looking out of the window, having an incredible time as God drives the car. (thanks to Dad for that one) God is doing some amazing things around the world. I want to immerse myself in it. Immerse myself in Him so that I am surrounded, filled with and swimming in perfect love. And love drives out fear. So there! Fear, you hear that?! No more! Ha! (after writing this and reading through I realised that my title for this blog was “Oh here we go again…” but I’ve now changed that to “Nothing is gonna hold me back!”)
Ok, sorry, tangent! Anyway, I’m due to go back to the gyno once I’ve had my next period and if the lining hasn’t gone down to around 2mm then something isn’t right and he’ll look into it. Great. Waiting for a period. Anyone out there reading this that knows me well is going to know that I’m not the most patient person in the world. Well, Jesus is the Prince of Peace, so I’ll be immersing myself in Him too.
Oh and I’ll be recruiting soon for next year’s Race for Life! I’m going to beat my time of 5 kms in 57 minutes. Anyone fancy it? Lemme know.
Ok, I’m going to leave you with two things. One is this link Father’s Heart Conference – our church Bethany Community Church hosted a conference in October. It was incredible. Lots of revelation on who the Father really is and the absolute freedom that is available to us. Please go listen to the mp3′s. Awesome stuff.
The other thing is: NOTHING is gonna hold me back!!
I’m not sure if people are still reading this blog, but hey, here goes.
I have been through another tough period of health issues and scares. I have slight lymphedema, caused by the surgeon taking out lymph nodes during my surgery last year. It means that my arm and hand cannot deal with infections as well as the rest of my body. The lymphatic fluid is what does the “cleaning” up of infections and as I have very few lymph nodes moving the fluid around it’s not doing its job. About a month ago I was admitted into hospital with a nasty case of cellulitis (an infection). They had to put my on an IV antibiotic as they work faster and are usually a lot stronger than the pill form. It was 3 days of very boring sitting around in a hospital room. We are still mightily blessed by private health insurance so it was the Harpenden Spire hospital (what, what, what…) and the room was more like a hotel room! For those who are reading and remember my time in Pinehill hospital Hitchin, I didn’t get carrots in the shape of flowers! Shame hey! Some gorgeous friends of mine came to visit me, I watched a LOT of Sky Player films and series (so much so that I got kicked off the hospital WiFi as I was using too much bandwidth!) I even kept working as I had my laptop and phone with me. Resting? Me? Never!! After the 3 days the infection had very much calmed down and I went home with another antibiotic in pill form. I also have been advised to control my hand eczema (the possible entry of the infection) and take a low dose of antibiotics for 6 months or more to help keep infections at bay. I’m not 100% happy with this as not only do the pills taste gross but I’m not convinced that antibiotics should be a long term thing… Ah well, it will help for now.
Ok, so that was the first health issue, the second was only 2 weeks ago. During my oncologist appointment check up at the end of June I mentioned that my periods were being a bit weird. I’d heard of the effects of Tamoxifen on the womb lining and I was a bit concerned. So, he referred me to a gynaecologist at the Harpenden Spire (what, what, what…). I went to my appointment on the 26th June and he did an internal scan of my womb and ovaries. The womb lining was indeed much thicker than it should be and so he said I needed to wait a couple of weeks for another scan, after I’d had my period. Then, as he was checking my ovaries he stopped and simply said “Hmmmmmm….” That always freaks me out at the best of times, let alone during the middle of a scan! He took a load of pictures of my left ovary and said that there was a possible cyst on my ovary, surrounded by a lot of fluid that shouldn’t be there. He also did a doppler scan of the blood flow and said that there seemed to be an extra blood supply that also shouldn’t be there. Ok, this is where my heart sank into the bed and hit the floor. When I was in my ultrasound scan for the lump in my breast on the 11th January 2010 they told me that it was a possible cyst, then the doc had said that there was an extra blood flow to the lump and that a biopsy was necessary! It turned out to be a tumour, not a cyst! So, can you imagine the thoughts in my head at this moment in time?? I had gone to the appointment ALONE (silly girl) and I was terrified. The gynaecologist was very sweet and comforting but basically said that it “could be sinister”. Great. Cheers. Just what I needed. He said that if next time we do the scan the cyst was still present and the womb lining still thick then a biopsy would be necessary. I walked around for the next two weeks in a bit of a haze. I was praying for a heavy period for the first time ever in my life. Never thought I’d actually WANT a heavy period… It didn’t come. I had another extremely light, stalling period and the thoughts in my head were going to a lot of horrible places of ovarian cancer and more surgery and treatment. I was surrounded by praying friends (thank you all so much!) but it was the kind of thing that I couldn’t bring to tell my Mum. I won’t do that next time as she was not happy that I suffered in silence, but you can understand why I didn’t say anything right? Anyway, I was in a bad place but gave it all to God many times during those two weeks. I was worshiping at the top of my lungs and contending for healing in the Spirit. Then, the 9th of July at 8:45am (the day of our huge housewarming party!!) I went with Djerk for another scan. Guess what? The cyst had DISAPPEARED!! The gynaecologist was pleasantly surprised, especially as the cyst seemed to have a blood supply! I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time! The lining of my womb was still thick and he did mention something called Novasure, a procedure to remove the lining and burn (ewwww) the lining producing cells away. I need to do some more research into this, but the words of the doctor still ring in my head – it will reduce the chance of cancer of the womb in the future. We’ll see. Not sure yet. I’ve had about all I can take from hospitals for now. As Djerk and I exited the hospital I broke down in tears. Poor D, he didn’t know what was up! “Happy tears” I managed to squeak out… LOL
God, you are SO faithful. Thank you for my healing. Thank you for being there every step of the way. Thank you that even when things seem crazy and scary I have such a hope for the future.
I’m slowly changing my diet and trying to exercise more. I am determined to keep going, even with all the health issues we are facing. It’s not just me either! Sam is currently on crutches as he broke his ankle. Josh had a horrible tummy bug this past weekend and D is being referred to Harpenden Spire (what, what, what…) for his ankle/foot pain and he’s just had antibiotics for an infection. God, you are with us, please protect us from any more issues.
So, that’s about it for this blog post. I do hope there are people reading this. Please respond if you are, it would be nice to know.
Two things to show you. This song, has got me through so many crazy/scary times. Hope it blesses you.
Plus, PJ Smyth is an amazing man of God from Jo-burg SA and he spoke at the Newfrontiers conference last week on healing. Listen to it here: PJ’s Talk
I thought it was high time that I gave you all an update on me and my cancer journey. Well, the best thing I can report is that it’s now NOT a cancer journey but a remission journey as I received the all clear from breast cancer on the 19th February 2011! I moved house from Hitchin to Harpenden on the same day as my results and haven’t looked back since! Life in Harpenden is sweet (yet expensive!!) and we are feeling very much at home in our new church http://www.bethanycc.co.uk.
A couple of things have happened in the past few months, all related to the cancer surgery and treatment from last year. I have been seeing a lymphedema nurse, as it seems I have a slight lymphedema issue in my right arm. This comes from the surgeon removing most of my lymph nodes in my armpit when taking out the tumour in my breast. Basically the lymphatic fluid in my hand, arm and shoulder cannot move very easily any more. This can lead to all kinds of problems if not treated by massage and a compression sleeve (the height of fashion may I say!) Sadly, for me, it did lead to a problem, infection! I have slight eczema on my hands and it got quite bad about a month ago, this led to an infection in my hand which spread to the arm. It turned into cellulitis (a hot, red rash on my lower arm) so I went on a course of antibiotics (aka anti-Hayleys) That cleared up after a few days and I thought nothing of it. Then a couple of weeks later I had another swelling in my hand, which was incredibly painful. I once again went on antibiotics and again it went away. Then, for no reason at all, on Saturday last week the cellulitis was back with a vengence. Ouch! It was incredibly hot and red and very very painful! I was in agony on the Sunday and on Monday morning I contacted my oncologist in desperation. Within a couple of hours I was sitting on a hospital bed in the flashy Harpenden Spire hospital (what, what, what!) I was treated with IV antibiotics (ug) and basically was forced to sit still and rest. Sigh… I was in for 3 days in total but by the time I left I had seen 3 rather dishy doctors, including my new dermatologist and my amazing, incredible, wonderful oncologist. I was rather spoiled! The rash and infection have now gone but I have been thoroughly scolded for not taking care of myself. So, I have decided to take much much much better care of myself! We’ll see how long that lasts… (Yes, I can hear some of you agreeing with me!!)
I guess for now that’s about it. I’ll keep you posted on all developments as they come.
Oooh, one more thing, Cancer Research UK may be putting our names (Djerk and I) forward for a national magazine for a Breast Care Awareness month special! It might not happen, but still kinda exciting.
Well, I’ve been such a busy bunny, I haven’t sat down long enough to write an update!
Just to let you know that the radiation burn, although jolly painful, was sorted with Flamazine cream and lots of dressings. It has healed up really nicely and actually has helped with the scar tissue! It’s made it more supple and the skin isn’t so tight anymore!
I have also had to battle another side effect of radiation, lymphedema. Simply put, it’s the build up of lymph fluid in my body, caused by the fact that they took out a lot of my lymph glands to test them for spreading of the breast cancer. Unfortunately it’s not something that can be cured, just treated. I’ve got exercises and massage to deal with the fluid when it builds up. It has caused a couple of nasty bouts of mastitis in my breast (not nice AT all). I had to have quite heavy antibiotics to settle it down and there is no way anyone can say if it will stay away or if I will get it again. I’l just have to keep going with the exercises and massage and pray for complete healing!
The Tamoxifen doesn’t seem to have any real effect on me. I sometimes get hot flushes and I’m finding it hard to lose weight (but I had that BEFORE taking Tami! Haha!)
My 30th birthday was on the 21st October and I had a really lovely time with friends and family. I had an auction at Just Desserts in Hitchin and raised an amazing total of £110 for Cancer Research UK! Thanks to all my lovely friends and family who came!
I’m doing quite well health-wise at the moment (except for the seasonal flu) I’m looking forward to 2011. Lot of changes coming! Will keep you all posted. )
I have heard of at least 6 people who have very recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and it makes me so mad! It’s an epidemic! I completely agree with my sister (a self confessed hippy type) who is looking into ways of reducing toxins and radiation in her life. Something is not right! We need to wake up and realise that this is effecting us. We can’t escape it. Lord, bring healing to our land and our lives!
I hope that you all have a very merry Christmas! Remember the real reason for the season…. Jesus!
Just a quick update on me, for the tiny few that are still following the blog.
In the last 24 hours I’ve been having issues with the scar and the effects that radiotherapy have had on it. Basically the radiation continues to burn after the actual radiotherapy sessions. It’s like sunburn in a way. You know you sometimes get burned on a hot sunny day but the next day is usually when it hurts and it feels like it’s still burning? Well, it is!! Radiation does that and now I’m feeling it. The skin has broken and it’s kinda painful but I’m soldiering on!
The good bits are that church is going SUPER well! We are absolutely loving being a part of Bethany Community Church in Harpenden. On another good note, it’s my birthday next week! 30! Arrrrgggg! I’m having a girlie get together on Friday 22nd to celebrate. I’m also going to be auctioning some breast cancer awareness goodies for Cancer Research UK as a bit of a fundraiser.
I’m really looking forward to getting back to my normal self soon, but in the meantime I need to stop overdoing things! Haha! Will that happen? Watch this space…
I just got home from my last radiation session at Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge. I was so elated whilst walking back to the car! I thanked the radiology team, put my earphones in and played “Feeling Good” by Michael Buble as my walking out music! Haha! I’m sooooo cheesy! “It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for meeeeeeee!” Woohoo! I then sat in the car and cried and laughed at the same time. I didn’t quite know how to feel, so I felt it all at the same time! As I was leaving the car park a family walking to their car waved me down, I’d left my Costa cup of tea on the roof of the car! Haha! What a silly sausage! I had the most amazing time of praise and worship in the car on the final drive home from the hospital. God has been so faithful to me and brought me through this rough season, I just had to lift his name in praise and thanks! It was awesome to drive, cry and sing! Woohoo! (I’m excited, can you tell??)
One song has been with me since the beginning of this journey and I haven’t shared with any of you yet, it’s called Get Back Up by TobyMac. Here is the video and here are the lyrics.
You turned away when I looked you in the eye
And hesitated when I asked if you were alright
Seems like you’re fightin’ for your life
But why, oh, why
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare
You saw it comin’ but it hit you out of nowhere
And there’s always scars when you fall that far
We lose our way, we get back up again
It’s never too late to get back up again
And one day you gonna’ shine again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever
We lose our way, we get back up again
So get up, get up, you gonna’ shine again
It’s never too late to get back up again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever
You roll out of the dawning of the day
Heart racin’ as you made your little get away
It feels like you been runnin’ all your life
But why, oh, why
So you pull away from the love that would’ve been there
And start believin’ that your situation’s unfair
But there’s always scars when you fall that far
This is love callin,’ love callin,’
Out to the broken this is love callin’
This is love callin,’ love callin,’
I am so broken
This is love callin,’ love callin’
So, last thing I will say today (apart from another YIPPEE!) is that God is calling to you too! Get back up again. You’ll shine again, as will I!
This is my first true “blog” entry! The others were just from emails and Facebook updates, but this one is off the cuff and straight into my new Promises Today blog.
I’ve been MEGA busy since setting this up on the 15th and 16th September and now. We have had OFSTED come to Purwell Primary (the school both my sons are going to, I’m a governor and IT person there too!) so that took a lot of my time and a LOAD of energy! I’ve also been continuing the long journey to and from Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge for my radiation treatment. The first couple of weeks were ok, but for a few days I have noticed that the skin in my armpit and also around the scar is beginning to burn quite badly. Ouch! I have 2 more blasts to endure and then treatment is OVER! Woop woop! I may find that the skin will continue to burn, but it should wear off soon. Imagine what it’s like when you get sunburn (well, I get sunburnt a LOT seeing as I’m a pasty white British blonde!) and it still feels like it’s burning after a couple of days, well, that’s radiation for you! Just a shame I won’t be getting a decent tan after this!!
Mum spent the week with us, driving me to and from Cambridge, cleaning and generally helping out! What an amazing woman! She gave up her holiday time to come and look after me. Wow. Love you so much Mummy!!
Right at the beginning of it all, my darling Mummy-in-law was praying for me and was reminded of this song, Hosanna. I hope you enjoy it. Keep fighting! He’s right there beside you!